Big boobs, unite!

Hi, I’m Ms. Titty’s bosom buddy (ha!), Tits McGee! We share a common problem, which is that our boobs are big, and – for me – disproportionate to the rest of my body. I am a 34DD – not even that big, really! – but as a result, I’m an 8 on top and a 6 on the bottom, which somehow isn’t a shape that’s understood among women’s clothing designers.

Ms. Titty and I talk about this problem a lot, and how we think it’s gotta be pretty widespread. Like when you try on a dress that has a seam under the boobs, the seam always runs across your chest – not underneath, like it’s supposed to. Turtleneck sweaters completely dissolve the space between your boobs and your chin. You look totally obscene when you try on anything v-neck and/or strappy. And button-down shirts – well, let’s not talk about button-down shirts. I gave up on that dream long ago. And how about bras that cost no less than $60 and come in maybe 2 colors (generally nude and black) that you have to replace every six months?! Ugh.

Don’t get the wrong idea. Truly, we love our big boobs. We don’t want to sound ungrateful when we complain. But with the upsides – nothing’s better for getting a bartender’s attention at a crowded bar! – there are some downsides. With this blog, we obviously plan to vent quite a bit. But we also hope to share solutions to the most pressing boob issues out there. Stay tuned.